My Best Friend XII

I couldn't sleep for a minute that night, and neither could I stop my tears. What I left in that party that evening was an irreplaceable part of my life. Someone who meant the world to me. Someone who taught me the real meaning of friendship, someone who was more than a friend to me, way more than a friend. I had a weird pain in my chest, I wanted to shout out loud. I wanted to hug him one last time, just one last time. But I knew I couldn't do any of it.


Sometimes it just takes a moment for friendship to change into love, or maybe to realize that what you thought was friendship, was actually love all along. The moment I saw him with another girl, I knew my first love was not Sam. But it was too late, I had already lost him, my first love, Jai.
You can call me orthodox, but I believe love only happens once. Surely Sam was wonderful guy, he kept me happy but unfortunately he was not the one I loved. I didn't want to lie to him anymore, I didn't want to lie to myself either.


I read somewhere, we can never get over our first love. He always has a part of our heart, even if we don't want him to. So I broke up with Sam and I told him the truth. Unlike everytime I broke up with him,  he took it all well this time. Said he understood me. He said he always knew Jai was more than a friend to me.


There are not always happy endings, some endings are disastrous. They break you, tear your heart apart and teach you, that life is not always a fairytale, sometimes there are no castles, no prince charming but you still have to move on.
I still see Jai in college, though we don't talk. He broke up with Riya a week after that party, admitted it was a big mistake. Sam and I are best friends now, he is dating a girl called Maya. They are kinda perfect for each other. And as for me, I am still single and there is nothing I regret about it, infact I totally love it.

Things that keep me up all night...

So u think u know me....Be ready to be surprised...

So you see me everyday and you think you know me. But I am not that simple a mystery to solve. The truth is I am incredibly awkward and negative. At times I give up too easily and don't even care to fight back. I don't like opening up to people, I am shy in front of strangers. I can't stand it if anybody holds a grudge against me. Most five yr olds can express their feelings better then me. I never cry in front of anyone, I hide behind my fake smiles. I am scared of getting hurt and terrified of being alone. I tend to act older than I am. I get attached to easily and hold on for too long. I am probably one of the most difficult person you will ever meet. But I can be sweet. I am a great listener. I will never back stab. I will guard your secrets with my life. I will never judge you on your mistakes. I will motivate you whenever you are down. I will never let you give up. I will there for you whenever you need me. I value friendship more than anything in this world. I will be the best friend to you, if you are one to me.

My Best Friend XI

The five of us (Adi, surya, Cliffy, Rahul and me) got in line for second our tequila shot. On a count of 3 just when the burning liquor flowed down our throat, I heard a familiar sound from behind us. It had been 2 hour since the party had started, and I had been waiting from him all along.
"So you guys started without me", Jai said in a mocking tone.
"Ohh no man, we were just warming up...Its my birthday after all!", Adi replied. Anybody could guess from his voice, he was already light.
"You are forgiven birthday boy, and I am sorry I am late. Actually it wasn't exactly my fault", and with that Jai put an arm around the girl standing next to him," meet my girl, Riya.", he said.
Everybody was shocked. But I was way more than shocked, I didn't know how to react. I had like a mini speech written in advance and practiced like a million times in front of the mirror, but not in my wildest dreams had I imagined that he would get a girl. A girl who had a figure to die for, long silky hair and a not a single mark on her face. Just what Jai always wanted in his girlfriend, features exactly opposite to mine.
I was so busy in my thoughts that I never realised when the formal introduction began. It was already my turn but before I could say something, she did.
"Oh, so you are Tara!" she said, all excited.
"Ummm, ya I am Tara. Nice to meet you", I replied you.
"I was dying to meet the girl whose photo my boyfriend carries in his wallet", she said and gave me a strange look, "though now its replaced with mine. He told you guys are best friends."
"Ya, we are best friends. We have always been so close and from as long as I remember, we both have had a pic of each other in our wallets. I stole one of his old school pic in which he looks like a nerd and he stole an extremely funny one of mine. I still remember when he took mine, he told me,"this ways I will never lose you, I will always have you in my pocket"", I told her the story.
"Ohh, I would love to see that pic of his", she said," can you please give it to me!"
"Sorry I can't, not that I don't want to, I just don't have it anymore. I lost my wallet which had his photo", I lied.
I left the party after some time. I don't know what the real problem was, maybe without my best friend I was feeling lonely or maybe because I couldn't bear to see him enjoying with someone else. Riya is a nice girl, perfect for him and I should be happy for him, but for some reason I wasn't. 
I could see his eyes fixed on me while I was leaving the party, maybe he was waiting for a goodbye. But what he didn't realize was that somehow in these few days the distance between us had grown so much, that keeping any expectations from each other hence-forth would be wrong. That night we bid our final goodbyes to each other as bestfriends.